An Open Letter To Martha Stewart And Eugene Kaspersky Re: Lodsys

Dear Mr. Kaspersky and Ms. Stewart,

You almost want to feel sorry for them, don’t you?  I mean, how bloodied and beat up are these Lodsys cats these days anyway, am I right?  From Joe Mullin over at Ars, we have the tale of the chicken:

Lodsys decided over the weekend to dismiss its case against Kaspersky with prejudice. Instead of facing a jury, Lodsys will slink away instead. It was an unconditional surrender.

Hello!

Even better, I woke up this morning to the whole story in your own words, Mr. Kaspersky, my favorites of which were:

The enemy is defeated, demoralized, and on the run! Churchill was right: “Never give up!” We’ve followed his advice in our fight against a particular troll. As a result the troll gave up and ran away with nothing and its tail between its legs.

Defeated.  Demoralized.  On the run.

Hello!  Again!  Although I must take issue with the second adjective because how can you be “de”moralized when you have no morals to begin with, eh trolls?  But hey, I’ll forgive you that because how awesome is that picture of your team and also?  I hope you saved at least one bottle of Chivas to send to Martha.

From the “what-I’ve-been-saying-all-along” department (with acknowledgement to Techdirt), we see that Kaspersky Lab, like Todd Moore at TMSoft before you, has simply refused to roll over for the likes of these “vermin”.  That’s the only way to send a message that the bullies can’t have your lunch money, folks!

What I’m hoping these recent victories against Lodtellectual Venturesys* don’t mean is that you’ll back down, Ms. Stewart.  I watched every episode of The Apprentice: Martha Stewart and if memory serves (and it does), you don’t seem the type.  Nevertheless, there’s always the danger that, when the bully backs off one or two victims, the posse that’s been assembled to meet him at the bike racks the next afternoon and give him what-for will decide he doesn’t need it.

Rest assured, Lodsys needs and deserves the ass-whoopin’.

You’ve gone for the jugular here by filing for Declaratory Judgement on non-infringement and invalidity.  As we say in Texas, put a bullet in it.  Knock out this meager family of four piddly patents and be the hero to all the companies still in Lodsys’ path!  Don’t settle out because they’re down, go right ahead and kick ’em, no?  Crack open the can, baby!!

I hate to say the troll tide is turning because there’s still a lot of bad going on out there.  But if we (and by “we” I mean “you”) see this one through, it’ll take a whole lotta steam out of the engine.

Just sayin’,

IPTT

*Intellectual Ventures + Lodsys = Lodtellectual Venturesys.  Try and follow along, people.

{Happless coyote image found here. Can of whoop-ass image found here, along with some decent advice.}