I Know Who The Pixelated-Faced Troll Victim Is (Probably)

Do you get into debates on LinkedIn?  I kinda do, but then again I tend to get into debates everywhere I go.  You should see me at the grocery store, what with the whole “paper or plastic” nonsense.  Seriously?  JUST.GIVE.ME.A.BAG.

Anyway, this morning my frienemy Paul Morinville posted a link to a story about a man who’s company was shut down by a patent troll, despite not believing that patent trolls exist.  He did a cursory search and found that the individual in the article didn’t even own a patent (!) and therefore could not have been sued for it (!!) which means he is obviously a liar and his pants are certainly aflame (!!!). Not being one to take anyone’s Paul’s word for anything it, I did a little searching of my own and would you believe it?  I came up with a completely different result.

I’ll pause while you recover from that revelation.

The article that was posted was this one, about a man named David Bloom.  He co-founded a technology start up called Ordrx (probably pronounced “Order X”, and not “OR-drix”, like I originally said it in my head) and the software centered around the restaurant business and the electronic ordering process.  Or something like that.

It’s not relevant anymore because he’s out of business on account of patent trolls. What was so interesting is that those who think patent trolls aren’t a problem immediately dismissed this man’s case because he didn’t have one.  There was no lawsuit filed, and that meant “Hey, dude, what’re you barking about?  Like, you didn’t even get sued, maaaan!  Why don’t you grow up and quit whining already?”

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Update, 5:57 pm CDT:  Of course there was a lawsuit, I missed that when I read the article the first time.  While some still wish to believe there weren’t, it is clear that OrdrX (dba Ordr In) was sued in the S. District of California, by the patent-holder’s own admission in a press release because why not brag about being a troll?  So while I was wrong to say that David Bloom didn’t say he was sued, Paul, et al were wrong to say that he wasn’t sued.  But for different reasons.  I think?  Anyway, he was sued just like he said he was.

Further, Paul and his minions were all “I can’t even find a patent!”  Really?  Because I did, and it took all of three searches.  I found this link on the Application Developer’s Alliance which led me to this link on something called trollfighters.com (note to self: that would have been a good domain to go ahead and buy) where it appears that Mr. Brown is, in fact, the pixel-headed CEO who was so worried about other companies trying to troll him that he refused to even show his face.

Not only couldn’t they find the patent that I found, they claimed the whole thing was a lie because he said he got sued (he never said that he totally said that) and he didn’t get actually sued (again, he never said that OK fine, he did say he was hit with a “frivolous lawsuit”) because if he got sued then where’s the lawsuit????

What actually happened, for those of us who read the article, was that he was forced out of business on account of the threat of a suit from a patent troll. Patent litigation defense costs a lot of money.  How much will always be in dispute, but it doesn’t matter because when you’re starting your own company, anything not related to your business that costs you more than $50 is “a lot”.  Patent infringement litigation defense usually costs more than $50.  I feel very safe in asserting that fact.

The dissenters also claimed that if a (non-existent) patent troll was coming after them and they were Google-backed, why wouldn’t Teh Googs just swoop in and lay waste to the (non-existent) troll?  Yeah, it doesn’t work that way.  First of all, I don’t think they were Google-backed so much as they participated in a start-up contest that was sponsored by Google.  Not quite the same thing, even in the made-up land where Paul lives and the trolls don’t exist.

Second of all, Google would rather shutter the venture than try and fend off the lawsuit, unless the Ordrx software were already pulling in mountains of money.  It’s the only sensible thing to do unless you’re a badass like Lee Cheng or Drew Curtis or Todd Moore and make the call to fight the good fight every time someone brings it to you. What kills me is the speed with which the “trolls don’t exist” camp went after David Bloom without even a quick search.  All they did was look for a patent in his name and a lawsuit, both of which couldn’t be found.

What’s so funny is, finding out the details didn’t even take me that long, I did it while on hold waiting for an online class to start because multitasking is my specialty. I’m glad I did though, because it solved an age-old mystery for me, which is “who was that pixelated man?”

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Tell me I’m right, David.

JustSayin_small_New

IPTT

Side note:  In the Twitter exchange that followed the LinkedIn debate, it was mentioned that I may be a paid shill for lobbying groups.  If nothing else is clear, let it this be: I write this blog for me and for those who are taken advantage of by the black hat, bad-guy, patent-wielding thugs who go after people for infringement just because they can.  I do not take anything from anyone for it.  Not a single penny, from a single person.  #independent

{Big Lebowski image found here. Pixelated image found here. David Bloom image found here.}

An Open Letter To Martha Stewart And Eugene Kaspersky Re: Lodsys

Dear Mr. Kaspersky and Ms. Stewart,

You almost want to feel sorry for them, don’t you?  I mean, how bloodied and beat up are these Lodsys cats these days anyway, am I right?  From Joe Mullin over at Ars, we have the tale of the chicken:

Lodsys decided over the weekend to dismiss its case against Kaspersky with prejudice. Instead of facing a jury, Lodsys will slink away instead. It was an unconditional surrender.

Hello!

Even better, I woke up this morning to the whole story in your own words, Mr. Kaspersky, my favorites of which were:

The enemy is defeated, demoralized, and on the run! Churchill was right: “Never give up!” We’ve followed his advice in our fight against a particular troll. As a result the troll gave up and ran away with nothing and its tail between its legs.

tail_between_legs_Kaspersky

Defeated.  Demoralized.  On the run.

Hello!  Again!  Although I must take issue with the second adjective because how can you be “de”moralized when you have no morals to begin with, eh trolls?  But hey, I’ll forgive you that because how awesome is that picture of your team and also?  I hope you saved at least one bottle of Chivas to send to Martha.

From the “what-I’ve-been-saying-all-along” department (with acknowledgement to Techdirt), we see that Kaspersky Lab, like Todd Moore at TMSoft before you, has simply refused to roll over for the likes of these “vermin”.  That’s the only way to send a message that the bullies can’t have your lunch money, folks!

What I’m hoping these recent victories against Lodtellectual Venturesys* don’t mean is that you’ll back down, Ms. Stewart.  I watched every episode of The Apprentice: Martha Stewart and if memory serves (and it does), you don’t seem the type.  Nevertheless, there’s always the danger that, when the bully backs off one or two victims, the posse that’s been assembled to meet him at the bike racks the next afternoon and give him what-for will decide he doesn’t need it.

Rest assured, Lodsys needs and deserves the ass-whoopin’.

You’ve gone for the jugular here by filing for Declaratory Judgement on non-infringement and invalidity.  As we say in Texas, put a bullet in it.  Knock out this meager family of four piddly patents and be the hero to all the companies still in Lodsys’ path!  Don’t settle out because they’re down, go right ahead and kick ’em, no?  Crack open the can, baby!!

whoopass

I hate to say the troll tide is turning because there’s still a lot of bad going on out there.  But if we (and by “we” I mean “you”) see this one through, it’ll take a whole lotta steam out of the engine.

Just sayin’,

IPTT

*Intellectual Ventures + Lodsys = Lodtellectual Venturesys.  Try and follow along, people.

{Happless coyote image found here. Can of whoop-ass image found here, along with some decent advice.}