UCLA Is Making Bad Choices, Someone Tell Its Mother

I don’t like to be a tattle tale, but someone needs to run this up the chain of command out there in La La land because UCLA is making a poor choice, and one poor choice leads to another and then the next thing you know they’re choosing rock music over easy listening and putting purchases on credit cards and driving over the speed limit and going to 6th street and…

Wait, what?

austin_sixth_street IP Troll Tracker

I’ve never been to 6th street and I’ll never go again.

 

UCLA has chosen our esteemed sous-to-be Chef Nathan Mhyrvold as its 2015 commencement speaker.

Nathan Myhrvold, an inventor, entrepreneur, author and UCLA alumnus, will be the keynote speaker for the UCLA College commencement ceremonies on Friday, June 12. He will speak at both the 2 p.m. and 7 p.m. ceremonies in Pauley Pavilion.

First of all, you missed an adjective or two.  It should read like this:

Nathan Myhrvold, an inventor, entrepreneur, author, patent troll, Sous Chef, and UCLA alumnus, will be the keynote speaker …

Also?  You spelled “renowned” wrong.  It’s “infamous”.

“Nathan exemplifies the unbounded spirit of a Bruin,” said Joseph Rudnick, senior dean of the UCLA College and dean of physical sciences

If by “unbounded spirit” you mean “boundary-less money monger spirit”, then OK.  What has he done to deserve such a place of honor among the alumni?  Behold:

Under his leadership, Intellectual Ventures manages one of the largest and fastest-growing intellectual property portfolios in the world, with more than 40,000 assets and over $6 billion in total committed capital from many of the world’s most innovative companies and renowned academic and research institutions.

I didn’t understand a word of that, but PTT™ did:

Under his leadership, Intellectual Ventures and its myriad subsidiaries has amassed one of the largest and fastest-growing collections of trollable patents in the world, with over $6 billion in total extorted capital from many of the world’s most innovative companies, some of whom can no longer afford to be in business because of the threat of lawsuits.  Also, he wants to be a chef.

(Sorry about that last sentence, sometimes PTT gets punchy on Mondays.)

The coolest thing about this is that at least one student on campus has heard of Mr. Mhyrvold’s goings on and took the opportunity to say “Duuude, we need to vet these speakers before y’all go off bringing in trolls and stuff.”  Or something like that.

What he actually said is spot on:

He is the cofounder [sic] of Intellectual Ventures, the worlds biggest “patent troll,” a company that exploits the loopholes in the patent-granting system by collecting patents and suing other companies, both big and small, hoping to get a piece of their revenue.

Welcome to the side with the white hats, Ari.

I only wish I had taken myself up on my dreams of attending UCLA so I could write a scathing letter to the Alumni Association, letting them know how I felt about this bad apple choice of a speaker.

JustSayin_small_New

IPTT

 {Image from 6th street from my personal collection here.}

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One thought on “UCLA Is Making Bad Choices, Someone Tell Its Mother

  1. Pingback: Grooming of the World’s Biggest Patent Troll, Nathan Myhrvold of Microsoft and Intellectual Ventures | Techrights

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