5 Convenient Truths About How Intellectual Ventures Doesn’t Want Patent Reform

Alternate title:  “Rosetta Stone For Patent Transactions: Intellectual Ventures Edition”

I read this blog post by Peter Detkin and almost tripped over the dog, I was running so fast towards my Patent Troll Translater™.   This type of stuff just begs to be run through, no?

According to IV, there’s a list of five things you should or should not do when considering patent reform.  Which I’m not sure IV is actually considering because if the patent system were ever to be reformed?  Hello? You’d be out of a business model.  Duh.

Let’s take a look-see at what PTT™ says:

1.  Beware of Caricatures


I have no idea why I should “beware” of caricatures.
This one’s not scary at all. I don’t get you, IV.

Them:  “Critics invariably define “trolls” as companies that own and enforce patents but don’t make anything. Boston University – one of the oldest and largest private academic institutions in the country –recently filed a patent infringement lawsuit. Like other universities, it doesn’t make any products. Is it considered a troll?”

PTT™:  “People who hate us invariably define “troll” as Intellectual Ventures.  But you know what?  Boston University recently filed a lawsuit over a patent and no one is picking on them!  If they can do it so can we.  Wah!!!

Steph:  Allow me to interject on my own PTT™ here.  I’ve said it before regarding IP Nav and I’m going to say it again:  When you single out people who are doing things that are as bad as you or worse in order to make yourself look good, you have a problem.  Quit doing that.  It doesn’t work for children and it won’t work for you.

2.  Don’t Punish Inventors

Them:  “If a proposed reform makes it harder for inventors to reap rewards for their inventions, we should be very cautious. If reforms tip the scales to those with more resources (usually big companies), we may be hurting innovation.”

PTT™:  “Don’t punish inventors, we’ll do it for you.”


3.  Focus on the Real Problem

Them:  “The core issue isn’t with patents per se or even patent lawsuits. The problem is frivolous patent lawsuits that exploit the cost and uncertainty of litigation.”

PTT™:  “The core issue is that we like to make a lot of money off the backs of inventors and people who patent things.  We don’t give a rat’s about bringing a product to market or furthering actual innovation, we’ll just litigate until our coffers are overflowing.  The real problem is that we don’t have enough money yet.”

4.  Don’t discriminate against business models

Them: “Some people invent. Some people build businesses. Some people do both. The purpose of a patent is to reward innovators, regardless of how they bring their inventions to market.”

PTT™: “Some people invent.  Some people  build businesses to take advantage of people who invent, but who don’t have access to the kind of people who can do something productive with their invention.  The purpose of a patent is to sue other people as early, and often, and frivolously as we can.”

5.  Inventors benefit from a vibrant secondary market

Them:  “Patents are property, much like stocks, bonds or real estate. Trading deepens the pool of capital available for innovation because it brings together buyers, sellers and investors. We don’t attack people who buy and sell stocks. Why should we attack people who trade patents?”

PTT™:  “Patents are property, much like stocks, bonds, or real estate.  Threatening to sue people for infringing on our patents deepens the pool of cash reserves we have for innovation, even though innovating isn’t something we do, so much as it’s a smokescreen to make people think we’re altruistic instead of litigious.  And besides, you know, stock brokers tip each other off and do immoral stuff too and all they ever get is a coupla years in a cushy Connecticut prison.  So why y’all hatin’ on us, you…you…you haters?!?!!

And there you have it.  What Peter Detkin really meant to say.



{Tina Fey caricature found here:  http://caricatureclass.blogspot.com/2009/05/tina-fey.html, original light bulb in vice found on the IV blog linked above.}


One thought on “5 Convenient Truths About How Intellectual Ventures Doesn’t Want Patent Reform

  1. Pingback: US Government Should Kill Bill’s and Nathan’s Criminal Patent Racket and Pyramid Scheme, Intellectual Ventures | Techrights

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s