Wherein I Quote The Remake of Sabrina

I’m not generally a fan of remakes, but the updated version of Sabrina stars Harrison Ford, which is the only other reason than to laugh that I go to see a movie though I must make an exception to that for Cowboys and Aliens.  Harrison?  There is not enough tequila on the planet to have convinced you to make that movie. Ditto Daniel Craig.  For shame, on both of you.
My favorite line from the 1995 Sabrina is

“Do I look stupid?  You know, I never thought of myself as stupid, but maybe I am.”

David Larabee’s mother says it to Linus because David really thought we didn’t know he was out to get the chauffer’s daughter.  Please.  That’s kinda how I’m feeling about Friday’s Shark Tank episode with the FuzziBunz lady. By about ten minutes into her spiel it was crystal clear that she was there for one reason only:  to bitch about people stealing her idea.  “IP Squatters”, she called them.  Very soundbyte-ish and you could tell she couldn’t wait to use her $10 phrase.  Never mind everything else that was wrong with her business, she was all furious because she’d sent the plans to a manufacturer in China who *GASP* stole them, made a similar product, and sold it for (presumably) cheaper.  THAT HAS NEVER EVER HAPPENED BEFORE TO ANYONE IN THE HISTORY OF EVER.  That’s all I can assume she was thinking, the way she got all super-indignant about it.

First of all, let me just say that about 12 years ago Attachment Parenting was all the rage (in fairness, it may still be…my kids are long past the slinging age so it’s far less relevant to me now than it ever was) and there was a sub-part of a message board I belong to devoted to the practice.  I have half a mind to go do a search and recall all the threads about cloth diapering.  Fuzzibunz, while highly regarded, was but one of many nearly identical alternatives.  It’s not all that unique an idea, and I really need to go look up what exactly about it she has patented because that’s a whole bucket of stupid right there, that the USPTO would consider patenting something that’s been in existence pretty much since babies were invented.  So Tereson Dupuy really needs to take up her fight with Adam and Eve, is what I’m saying.

I’m a little surprised the Sharks didn’t attack her for the smoke screen she threw up.  Her appearance was a vendetta.  And for the sake of authenticity and the fact that I am reading Daring Greatly so I have to open up here, I myself have operated out of spite from time to time.  But spite and bitterness don’t grow a business.  Patents shouldn’t either.  What should grow a business is a sound idea well executed.  What has happened to Tereson is that she had only the first half of that equation.  Her business is not profitable twelve years into it.  According to her Shark pitch, she’s at $3.9 Million in sales, but $20k in profits.  Wait, what?  That’s pretty sad to be at that point so many years into it.  She admitted that she had a bad patent attorney so OK, everyone makes a mistake.  But once the super-secret diapering plans were out, you have to change your game.  Litigation is not a business plan.  Oh, wait

It would appear that she didn’t do that, and her business is suffering and she needs help.  She intended to use Shark money to fight the patent battle.  The Sharks didn’t bite, and well done on them.  Like Maude Larabee, they aren’t stupid.  I have a lot of ideas for how to grow her business, but so does she.  She knows.  She just got caught up in the patent wars, another victim of the “Intellectual Property as King” mindset created when the trolls took over the industry.

It’s a shame.

Just sayin’,

IPTT

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