Something Awesome This Way Comes (on September 18th)!

For my last post, I was complaining about Adam Carolla and am sad to report that he has neither answered my question nor taken me to dinner.  Thanks for nothing, you crybaby, you!  I still think I’m on the right side of that one, ya’ll.  He’s just being stupid.


Not lost on me, the photo is of a little girl…


Next up: you all remember your 9th grade English class and having to read Ray Bradbury, don’t you?  In a twisted take on the title (because alliteration, for the win!), today’s topic (!!) involves something very near and dear to me, which is exposing patent trolling behavior for the nastiness that it is.  There are a myriad of ways to do that, but the one I chose was to collect and report on demand letters, those pesky, threatening diatribes sent out en mass by companies who buy up nefarious and/or never-should-have-been-issued patents and set about antagonizing people into paying a license for them or face scary-expensive litigation.

In February of a couple of years ago, I was driving to The Woodlands, TX to pick up a check for some consulting work I was doing at the time and whilst sitting in my Ford F-150 it struck me:  If I can put up a website for people to enter in their demand letters, maybe we can build a database of information about who these trolls are, how and where they operate, what they’re asking for, and who they’re sending letters to.  This is pre-litigation information, and therefore it’s not obtainable through public resources like actual lawsuit information is.  If people would come and input information, we could get out ahead of litigation and, possibly, prevent it.

How?  Well, my thinking was (and remains) that if I provide a way for people to discuss these letters anonymously, maybe they can get together and form a proper defense.  I want That Patent Tool to be the first place someone goes when they receive a demand letter, a place they can do a search and find out if their patent has been at play before, see who else got a letter, and maybe log into the forum and start poking around.  See, the thing is, these guys work on anonymity and cloaking and being all secretive.  If I can get people to enter in information and expose, at the very least, the patents they’re threatening over and the amounts they’re asking for, that might clue others in.  Then, everyone who’s been sent a letter can stand up and say “Um, no.  We don’t think so.  You’re going to have to take us all to court if you want to see a dime.”

Imagine.  Imagine what that would do to the trolling business model.  They count heavily on being able to sneak in licensing requests that are either low enough for Mom & Pop to shell out for with a simple-interest loan from rich Uncle Bob, or just below the litigation cost threshold so bigger companies will sign over a check and have done with it.  They’re not stupid, these guys.

But if we can expose this model and get people searching a database and talking about it, we can force the trolls to take it to litigation every single time.  I’m no mathematician, but that’s gotta put a hurtin’ on a war chest, right?

So I created That Patent Tool in less than a week of coding.  I spent a day finding proper hosting and buying the domain and then six days and nights coding.  I may or may not have gone that entire week without showering and now you can never say I’m not transparent and authentic because that right there is keeping it real, folks.  I don’t even remember if I ate, it’s all a blur.  I know I busted out the rally cap a few times, because nothing says “I’m a legit coder” than wearing your husband’s baseball cap backwards and taking a selfie.


Fun facts: This is one of two known selfies in existence because I’m neither a 12 yr old girl nor a Hollywood starlet (obviously), and oh look! Crumbs on my shirt, which means I ate at least *something* that week.  And now you know.

Anyway, here we are two-plus years later and what has the USPTO gone and done?  Set up a webinar to help business owners find relief from patent litigation.  It’s all right here in their flyer.  And if you’ll look closely on their list of resources for people who’ve been sued, you will find a familiar link.

The webinar takes place this Thursday, September 18th from noon-1:00 Eastern.  Login details in the flyer linked above.

I plan to attend and would encourage anyone and everyone to spread the word and join in!  If I can find a way to hack into the system and make myself presenter, I may even give some advice in person.  Just kidding, Uncle Sam!!  I’m not an attorney so I can’t give advice.

The hacking thing might happen though…



{Hilarious crying baby photo taken by Jill “Like Candy From A Baby” Greenberg.  Check her out, she’s awesome.  Selfie by me because that’s what a selfie is.}

So Where Are You Taking Me To Dinner With Your $450,000, Adam Carolla?

Just read this update from Joe Mullin on the Adam Carolla whiney-baby fight against the “podcasting troll”.

We all know by reading this and this that I disagree with Joe on the labeling of Personal Audio as a patent troll in the general sense of the word.  As previously stated, he differs in my mind from the standard troll because he a) actually created a “product”, if you will, using the patented idea and sank his own money into it, and b) he sues people who are actually in the same line of business that his patent covers (as opposed to, say, people who have never come close to infringing on anything in their lives).

Adam’s a funny man, and I like his comedy but I don’t like when people are disingenuous.  So you’re telling me that Personal Audio moved to dismiss their case, and Camp Carolla said…no?  Whaaaaat?

What the Ars Technica article doesn’t state is when Personal Audio backed off. Their statement released yesterday is pretty ouchy, though:

“Adam Carolla’s assertions that we would destroy podcasting were ludicrous on their face,” said Personal Audio CEO Brad Liddle. “But it generated sympathy from fans and ratings for his show. Getting his fan base to continue to donate to his legal fund is a cynical exploitation of the publicity power he enjoys as an entertainer.”



If you want material for your comedy show Adam, I invite you to spend a day in Texas.  The funny just writes itself in the Lone Star State.  I’m wondering if it embarrassed you to have the suit dropped, because of this:

When Personal Audio first began its litigation, it was under the impression that Carolla, the self-proclaimed largest podcaster in the world, as well as certain other podcasters, were making significant money from infringing Personal Audio’s patents. After the parties completed discovery, however, it became clear this was not the case. As a result, Personal Audio began to offer dismissals from the case to the podcasting companies involved, rather than to litigate over the smaller amounts of money at issue.

Oooh.  It’s the “small amounts of money at issue” thing that got you, no?  Look, I get it.  I’d like to think we could all make bazillions of dollars off Teh Interwebs but not everyone can be a Goop.  Personal Audio is no longer coming after you though, so you’re swinging for the fences and no one’s even pitching to you.  Your site is still up, and there’s been no update letting contributors know that their funds aren’t needed anymore.

You’re behaving like the man in line at Sonic who got tots instead of fries and no matter how many times the clerk tells you she’ll gladly swap them out for what you ordered, you insist upon a lifetime of free slushies just because YOU WAS WRONGED, MAN!!

You got what you wanted, Personal Audio dropped the suit.  You’re now the one who’s wrong by leaving your crowdfunding site up and collecting money for something you no longer need.





{Adam Carolla punch image found here.}

NPEs? Prepare To Have Your Mind Tableau’d

I’m on the email update list for and they recently came out with stats for 2012 patent litigation.  My first thought was “Yay!  Now I have something to do on Saturday night!” because normally my dance card is all filled up with The Nanny reruns.  My second thought was “.csv files?  Seriously?”

It’s not that downloadable .csv files aren’t cool, they’re just so plain.  Normal.  Uninteractive.

Enter?  Tableau.  Data visualization software that makes it super easy to create dashboards that not only show you something in a pretty way (maps! bars! scatter plots!) but that let you interact with your data.  You can touch it and feel and hug it and kiss it and call it George.  If you want to, I mean.  Not that I do that during commercial breaks of The Nanny.  As far as you know.

The NPE Data has been put into a Tableau workbook for your downloading and interactive pleasure here, at my number one Alter Ego, Interworks.

NPE Data Grid


This is the first of many visualizations to come, as there are many different kinds of  NPE litigation-related data and patent data and honestly?

They could all use some tarting up.



Oh, Intellectual Asset Management Magazine, You Silly Thing, You!

You slay me, I AM.  A while back you published this article about a study that came out, touting the damage that patent trolls do to start ups.  OK, not necessarily start ups, but “entrepreneurial activity”.  And not necessarily “patent trolls”, but NPEs/PAEs/Euphamisms-of-the-Month.  But whatever, we all know what we’re talking about here and if you don’t, I have no idea what would land you on this blog other than a search for Big Derrieres.  And if that’s the case, well then let me introduce you to Mr. Charles Barkley.

Disclaimer: Mr. Barkley is not a patent troll and even if he was I wouldn't call him one because dude is huge.

Note: Mr. Barkley is not a patent troll and even if he was I wouldn’t call him one because dude is huge, and I value my life.


Back to the article, Mr. Joff Wild says the following:

I am not going to argue with the idea that VCs would have ploughed more money into certain companies if they had not been hit with lawsuits by PAEs. That seems pretty self-evident to me – VCs, like any other kind of investor, dislike uncertainty.

So we’re on the same page then, right?

Only no.  No we are not, because he goes on to say:

However, what I did not see in the study is any evaluation of the merits of the cases brought by the PAEs Tucker writes about. Instead, I saw a few anecdotes about what seem like egregious cases, but nothing that demonstrated these were typical. It seems inarguable to me that PAEs willing to spend millions of dollars taking their cases to court when they cannot get someone to take a licence believe that their patents are being infringed and that they have a good chance of convincing the court to agree. Thus, it could just be that Tucker has spent her time and the CCIA’s money discovering that VCs are unlikely to sink money into companies whose products infringe patents.   I could be wrong, of course; but we don’t know because Tucker does not look into it.

You’re forgetting something:  With patent trolls, the merits of the case don’t matter.  That’s sort of the whole point of all the railing against them.  Whether the patent is invalid or infringement occurred matters not to the entrepreneur looking for money:  once you’re sued by a troll you have to respond, and that eats time and resources that would have been better spent on things like growing a business and hiring employees.  Tucker didn’t spend her time deconstructing the cases?  Probably because she likes to spend it doing something worthwhile.  Like making the point that patents can be used as a weapon to slow down start ups and innovation.

As for the patents themselves, Mr. Wild notes:

Furthermore, the patents that PAEs seek to license and are sometimes forced to litigate do not just appear out of the ether.

No they don’t.  They appear out of the USPTO, who has clear issues with their patent examiners.  See my three-parter here:  Interview With a Patent Examiner Series.  Sorry it sorts them Part III first.  Dunno what’s up with WordPress on that…

I do agree with Mr. Wild on one thing though:

All in all, therefore, this study does not come close to making a case for legislative patent reform.

Right.  Well, “right” in the sense that I don’t think patent reform is going to solve the patent troll problem.  Certainly things are ripe for updating in the grand ol’ US of A patent system, like how examiners are vetted and hired and what skill sets they have and by that I mean you need to hire lawyers at the USPTO so they can fight off the lawyers that the companies hire to get their client’s stuff patented.  I think we can agree on this.

Finally, I want to address this comment:

It might not be ideal, but it is a whole lot better than passing sledgehammer laws based on anecdotes and flawed research.

I’m aware that the plural of anecdote is not “data”.  I’m also aware that all research is inherently flawed, if it’s done by humans, that is.  We all bring a sense of bias to our research, I’m not sure that will ever not be the case.  That doesn’t mean you throw it out and decide unilaterally not to make decisions based on it.  Again,  I agree that “sledgehammer laws” are stupid and ineffective but articles like Catherine Tucker’s highlight that the problem does in fact exist, even if it doesn’t delve into every level of detail that I AM would like to see.

In closing, though I like to make great sport of people who do not completely agree with me, I do want to say thank you for this:

None of this is to say that there are not problems and issues to address with regards to abusive patent litigation in the US, clearly there are.

There are real problems and real issues with patent litigation today.

I happen to think Ms. Tucker’s article does a great job of highlighting a specific one, even if you and Barry don’t agree with me.



{Sir Charles image found here.}

Life360 Founder Uses Foul Language, Still Gets Sued

You know what the biggest problem with patent trolls is?  Oh sure, it’s that they cost companies buckets of money and stifle innovation by shutting down start ups.  Those are bad, of course, but the real tragedy here is that they make people like Chris Hulls call someone a “piece of shit” and then look stupid in the process.

Side note:  I was always taught as a child that if you had to use foul language, you were stupid because smart people are wordsmiths and can come up with a much better way to say whatever it is that a good, solid “FUCK YOU!” was meant to convey.  That, and I got a mouth full of Ivory soap for calling my older brother a jackass once (which his 11-yr-old self totally was) so yeah, I don’t cuss very often.

The story goes that Life360 has been patent trolled to death, they’re mad as hell, and they aren’t going to take it anymore.  Tell me that’s the wrong attitude?  You can’t.  But the problem here is that AGIS doesn’t fit pretty much anyone’s definition of a “patent troll”.

To start with, they have 11 patents, with more pending.  Your typical troll will have one, perhaps as many as two, and both are so old they fart dust.  These guys?  Not so much.  Additionally, they actually make a product called LifeRing that services our military and first responders.  These aren’t the droids you’re looking for, Chris.



Which is the problem with trolls:  if they come at you often enough, you’re going to get fed up and react poorly to anyone’s attempt at a licensing deal.  It’s a sad by-product of the culture of trolling.  Life360 has been hit by four or five trolls so not exactly a hoard, but when you’re the start up, as we’ve talked about, every hit hurts.  And Hulls wasn’t in the mood to put up with anymore shenanigans and ballyhoo, so he blew up on the last guy to come after him.

The Pando Daily article quotes him as follows:

“I’m getting a huge groundswell of support for shunning standard legal advice, which feels great.  My plan is to take this fight the duration, invalidate the patent, and make sure they can’t do this to anyone else.  Who knows.. maybe it will make others take a stand?  As a broader idea, maybe this type of action needs to come from Series B/C/D companies, as smaller ones don’t have the cash for a fight, and bigger ones are beholden to their own legal teams.  We are right in the sweet spot where I can still make these brash decisions and apologize for the mess later.”

Listen dude, I’m all about the shunning.  I get that.  And to shun a lawyer?  DOUBLE POINTS.  But I don’t own a company and people aren’t depending on me for their livelihood and you so should have listen to your legal counsel because I think you picked the wrong guy to make an example of.  The AGIS request for licensing discussions is one you should have accepted.  You’d have paid a fair price, far less than what it will cost you to “take this fight the duration”, as it doesn’t seem these guys are out for blood, just recognition that they got there first.   Further, it doesn’t seem like you’ll get this thing invalidated (said she who gave it a cursory read and is not a patent attorney).


Nice guys don’t cuss, just ask Jerry Seinfeld.


I do want to say though, that I totally {heart} you for the whole “we can clean up the mess later because we’re funded, beotchez!”  I can only imagine how good it felt to say that.

My point though is that it’s sad that this is what companies have come to:  either being bankrupted trying to fight the real trolls or coming out swinging against an enemy that isn’t really there.

As the awesome folks at Above the Law put it in their write-up:

A response like this is what happens when you’ve been patent-trolled one time too many.




{Obi-wan image awesomeness found here. Picture of Chris Hulls found on Life360’s website.}



“Then I Looked At Twitter And There Was A Tweet Saying It Was Dead”

And that’s how patent reform ended last week:

On Wednesday morning, tech sector lobbyists thought they were in the final stages of pushing through a hard-fought compromise on patent reform. “Tuesday night it was moving forward, Wednesday morning it was moving forward,” said Julie Samuels, director of Engine, a group that lobbies for startups. “Then I looked at Twitter and there was a tweet saying it was dead. What the hell?”

That quote from Julie Samuels in Joe’s article pretty much sums it all up, no?  Well, as it happens, probably no.

Tech sector lobbyist should know by now that it’s never over until the fat lady sings, and she hadn’t even opened her mouth yet on this one.  Not only has there been push-back on patent reform legislation from inventors and patent trolls, it seems the real bugaboo was the pharmaceutical companies and (*gasp*, can it be??) trial lawyers.  That certainly came out of left field…or did it?  < — That links to a post about how  the tech sector as a target will eventually burn out and the trolls will start going after oil and gas and pharmaceutical companies, in case you don’t want to make the jump.



Here’s where it gets interesting for me personally, referencing this quote:

Leahy’s public statement saying that the two sides “couldn’t compromise” isn’t true. There was a compromise draft, hashed out mainly by Senators Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and John Cornyn (R-TX), that was expected to move forward and be marked up by the committee.

So Chuck Schumer, he of the bill that was never a good idea, and my hometown boy John Cornyn were working behind the scenes.  Let’s fill in a gap here…

Friday, May 9th, I was in an airport in Philadelphia awaiting my flight  back to my lovely family of teenagers whose angst and disgust with life in general I didn’t miss at all was longing to rejoin, when I received an email asking if I knew anyone in the Houston area who’d been hit by a patent troll.  I’m pretty darn organized if I do say so myself, but  didn’t have my spreadsheet handy so I agreed to look up some companies and reply when I had more info.   It seems that Mr .Cornyn was organizing a local press event and wanted someone who’d been a victim of a patent troll on hand to make it personal.  Always a good plan to have people tell their story in their own words.

Only before I could research who might be a good front for the soiree, I received a second email saying “Oopsies, never mind.  Not needed now.”

I’m no conspiracy theorist because all that over-thinking eats into my social life,  but I do wonder if maybe the signs of a crack in the process weren’t already showing?  Here’s my thinking…you set up press events to hail good news, to indicate that you’ve won something.  It takes a while to set up a press event.  You have to find a venue, line up speakers, alert the press, buy a new suit for yourself, make sure who ever you’ve lined up to talk has time to clean up for the cameras, all of that.  If you think a bill is going to come to a vote and pass towards the end of May and you want to trot out reps from a company that it will directly affect, then you better start getting that house in order.  Say, around the 9th of May.

Did John Cornyn have a whiff of Harry Reid’s move back then?  Was there some other conflict in his schedule that made a public forum undesirable?  Not sure, but the timing does strike me as interesting.

There are those who think that patent trolling was born out of tort reform during the Age of Asbestos, and this quote from the Ars Technical article makes reference to that:

Many law firms working in traditional plaintiffs’ areas like personal injury or securities class actions have added patent work as other sources have dried up. In Texas, there has been talk about how tort reform in that state had a hand in creating the patent litigation hotspots like the Eastern District of Texas, as lawyers went “from PI to IP.”

The story goes like this:  trial lawyers were building entire practices out of suing companies who’d used asbestos in their building materials, even before it was shown to be a carcinogen, by trolling for victims and exacting huge settlements, most of which they themselves retained because that’s how they roll.  When tort reform became a reality and punitive damages were capped, they had to go somewhere else.  Patent infringement became their next big stick.

And this is why I think legislation is the wrong way to handle the patent troll problem.  Why?  Because people who want to game the system will always find a way.  If you want to stop them, you have to play the game differently.  Or, in the case of our Patent Troll Fighter Heroes, refuse to play at all.  Running to Uncle Sam and those on Capital Hill won’t help you, and if it does it will come at a too high a lobbying price and won’t last long anyway.

This first great attempt at patent troll legislation is dead for now.  Who know when and in what form it will resurface, but I hope that the good guys have learned a good lesson out of the process.

I’ll let them decide what that is.



{Opera singer image found here.}



Dear Patent Reform Haters…

If the supposed mantra from the anti-patent troll camp is that “anyone who sues for patent infringement is a troll”, then the view from the other side must be “all patent reform will drive inventors into the ground and kill us all and OMG the sky is falling!!!”  That sentence is totally worthy of three exclamation points.

Why do I over-exaggerate?   Because of articles like this by Louis Foreman from The Hill.  Oh, brother.  They are highly critical of the troll haters and I think they even said that there’s no such thing as a troll, unlike leprechauns which are of course very real and probably living in my closet as I type.  The article begins with this gem, wherein they take exception with the very term “troll”:

First, there’s the name—no one wants to be associated with something that sounds like the evil cousin of a leprechaun.


Zoinks! Maybe they *are* cousins?


Opening with a funny?  Who do you people think you are, me?  Anyway, Louis moves on to say:

For one thing, the issue of so-called patent trolls isn’t as all-encompassing as one might believe to hear the talk from Congress (not to mention the barrage of advertisements addressing the issue).  In fact, an overwhelming majority of patent infringement lawsuits from 2007-2011 were brought by operating companies.

‘So-called’ patent trolls?  Dear Innovation Alliance and all of you who retweeted the link to this article, please let me introduce you to eDekka. Yeah, I’d call them trolls and you should too if you want to be taken seriously.  From the Matt Levy article at Patent Progress:

The most prolific filer was a patent troll called eDekka, which filed 87 separate patent infringement suits. In this latest flood of suits, eDekka sued companies like the NFL, Etsy,, GameFly, and 1–800-Flowers. (eDekka had previously sued another 70 or so companies, including Apple, Lowe’s, Walgreens, and JCPenney.)

Eighty-seven separate patent infringement suits and these guys aren’t a troll?  Look y’all, I’m on record many many times stating that I don’t think this is a problem that major federal legislation will resolve, except where it relates to lawsuits/demand letters and the things that the trolls should be required to put in.  And I don’t even think it should go too far.  But requiring that a plaintiff explain at least where infringement is alleged to occur, on what patent and in what product, is not too much to ask.  Why?  Because mounting a defense costs money, and much more so if you don’t know what you’re defending yourself against.  It is not unreasonable to expect that if someone’s suing you, you should be able to decipher why.

In other words, just because eDekka is allowed to file a uselessly vague complaint, companies like B & H are going to have to waste tens of thousands of dollars on these lawsuits.

This is the problem with trolls:  once they file a lawsuit, you’ve already lost.  Even if you win, it will come at too high a price for some companies (mostly startups) to bear.  It’s insidious and it’s mean and abberation of what patent law was created for.

Heightened pleading requirements would increase eDekka’s costs substantially, because it couldn’t simply reuse one complaint 87 times.

Why would anyone complain about this?  I keep thinking to myself “Self?  If I were so convinced that someone had infringed on my patent I would be all up in that business and list out every single instance of infringement and find a way to prove it was willful if I could (and snag those treble damages).”  Why don’t the trolls like to explain what they’re suing over?  Ooh ooh, I know this one!  THEIR CLAIMS ARE BOGUS.

Patent reform haters say

We simply want to be part of the discussion and make sure that we are not the collateral damage from a rushed and not-so-well-thought-out legislative process.

If that’s the case, then quit pretending there isn’t really a troll problem.  I’m constructing my Q&A with an inventor right now, it’s not like you guys don’t have a forum.  Just be smart about how you use it, and not say things like ‘so-called’ trolls.

Some companies are ‘so-called’ because they so are.



 {Creepy trollechaun image found here.}